January 30, 2007

The Katie Couric Conspiracy (or...KCC for short)

I think I may have stumbled onto something here, something bigger than you or me, something that may just get me killed. Be warned, assassins, I have hidden cameras and hidden camera-men who follow my every move, and you will be documented should you point your poison-dart blowgun my way.
The KCC begins with a question, "Why are the major news networks tanking, with their viewship heading over to Fox?" I've heard some pretty convincing arguments from the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Sir Glenn Beck (well, I'm pretty sure he's a knight in Eternia): Fox gives you the news, whereas the others tell you what you should think. That's pretty much it, except that the others (CBS, NBC, ABC) are a bunch of elitist, socialist, marxist, leftist idiots (not to be confused with an elite, left-handed socialite named Mark), and will only "report" on things that will further their agenda.
That is, everyone else but Katie Couric.
"What," you ask? "She's just a female Dan Rather!" Harsh words, my friend, but not altogether true. Allow me to hypothesize...hypothesise...submit a hypothesis? Dang you, spellcheck!
Katie Couric is only following orders, orders from someone with more power than she has (kinda like Hillary Clinton, but not evil). She's actually just biding her time, going along with the flow, trying to blend in with the bad guys (star! (sorry, folks, only three other people are gonna get that joke)) while her momentum builds. Let me ask you, who out there in the major news-media is asking the tough questions? Who out there is bringing all the news to the people? No one, my friend, no one. Sure, that answers why people are leaving in droves to watch Fox News instead, but what does that have to do with Katie?
Someday, friend, someday soon, Katie Couric will step forth as the new Murphy Brown and actually ask the tough questions. Questions like, "So, Senator Clinton, why is it that you criticize President Bush for having the power to open anyone's mail when it was your very own husband that signed that power into law?" Or, easy target, I know, "Senator Kerry, will you ever just shut up and go away? I mean, really. Don't you think you've screwed things up enough?" Of course, I'd like to put quite a few names in that last one along with Kerry, but I only have so much space here.
Okay, so I did embellish a little in the beginning there, sorry if that was a let-down. You could pretty much just sum this whole post up with "Gee, why doesn't some journalist step forward and actually confront these politicians with their contradictions?" Oh well, everyone loves a conspiracy.

1 comment:

SalGal said...

Man, I hope Mark's not left handed...

Good show, brother, good show!