August 03, 2011

Episode IV

Wow...even I haven't been back here for so long that even my browser forgot the address!  I guess a little explanation is in order.  Less than two weeks after my "poor me" moment, I landed a spectacular job with a small break-off company from Fetzer Architectural Woodwork, which is being called Rocky Mountain Preservation.  I can only call this a blessing from on high; it's perfectly suited for my talents, and it has allowed us to begin looking for a house!

What really brought me back here to post today is that I have something to say to someone, but don't know how to say it to them personally.  As I think about what I'm trying to say, it actually applies to more than a few people I yes, this is about you.  I do not want to say this, because I feel that I'm nowhere near where I should be as an example, and I don't want to prop myself up as if I truly understand.  I'm compelled to say it, however, because of my love for you, and my desire for your success; and I don't know how else to help.

Here goes: in my early days of college, I was forced to take took a philosophy course.  The only thing I remember from that course besides a couple Jeopardy answers was a small bit about Nirvana.  This would be the Buddhist version, not the Seattle version.  The Buddha described nirvana as the perfect peace of the state of mind that is free from craving, anger, and other afflicting states (straight out of Wikipedia there).  My teacher tried to explain that the only way to achieve it is to give up all desires, even the very desire to achieve Nirvana.

Strangely, I can relate to this.  We talk a lot in my/our church about bending ourselves to God's will, about not forcing our will upon Him.  It's a funny thing to tell a man to pray and ask for blessings, and then to tell him that he shouldn't be asking to change God's will.  I kind of have the opinion that me and God are buddies, in a Father-Son way, and that He will generally be looking out for me.  If I'm going through a hard time, I know it's not because He's mad that I broke His favorite binoculars or something, I generally figure that I gots me some learnin to do.

Back to the Nirvana bit.  I recalled that...recollection...during my insanely brief stint in unemployment, and for some reason or another, it helped me realize that I wasn't truly opening myself up to God's will.  I remember the exact night I truly felt I meant it when I said "Thy will be done," and as I said in the beginning of this post, I can only count our current circumstances as a blessing from on high.  There is no other explanation that I need.

I didn't reach Nirvana, and I know I'll have to learn this lesson again.  But, for a brief moment there, I became as a little child, and listened to my Father.

Now to you, for whom this was written, I say that I don't have it figured out, but I hope this advice helps.  Open yourself up, break down your walls - even if they've already been knocked down and steamrolled, take out the foundation.  Allow Him build you back up, and I promise it will be better than you hoped for.

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