What really brought me back here to post today is that I have something to say to someone, but don't know how to say it to them personally. As I think about what I'm trying to say, it actually applies to more than a few people I know...so yes, this is about you. I do not want to say this, because I feel that I'm nowhere near where I should be as an example, and I don't want to prop myself up as if I truly understand. I'm compelled to say it, however, because of my love for you, and my desire for your success; and I don't know how else to help.
Here goes: in my early days of college, I
Strangely, I can relate to this. We talk a lot in my/our church about bending ourselves to God's will, about not forcing our will upon Him. It's a funny thing to tell a man to pray and ask for blessings, and then to tell him that he shouldn't be asking to change God's will. I kind of have the opinion that me and God are buddies, in a Father-Son way, and that He will generally be looking out for me. If I'm going through a hard time, I know it's not because He's mad that I broke His favorite binoculars or something, I generally figure that I gots me some learnin to do.
Back to the Nirvana bit. I recalled that...recollection...during my insanely brief stint in unemployment, and for some reason or another, it helped me realize that I wasn't truly opening myself up to God's will. I remember the exact night I truly felt I meant it when I said "Thy will be done," and as I said in the beginning of this post, I can only count our current circumstances as a blessing from on high. There is no other explanation that I need.
I didn't reach Nirvana, and I know I'll have to learn this lesson again. But, for a brief moment there, I became as a little child, and listened to my Father.
Now to you, for whom this was written, I say that I don't have it figured out, but I hope this advice helps. Open yourself up, break down your walls - even if they've already been knocked down and steamrolled, take out the foundation. Allow Him build you back up, and I promise it will be better than you hoped for.