August 15, 2006

Death of a salesman

In tribute to an inevitable, I want to ask you today, what will happen when Bob Barker dies? I think it's pretty safe to say that this event will usher in Armageddon. Nothing big will happen, until the Four Horsemen show up at his funeral, uninvited of course, and start laying waste to the attendees. That's when all hell will break loose, literally, because the "hellmouth" will inadvertently be exposed and opened by the backhoe digging Bob's grave.
My wife, ever the realist, says that they'll probably have a televised contest (ala American Idle - and no, I didn't mispell that, it may as well be called American Karaoke for all I care) to choose the new "Bob", at which point all the senior citizens will revolt and the show will die too.
We've already seen what dangers can happen when seniors revolt...Al Gore almost got elected, Grampa Simpson turned into a woman and there were wolves chasing him, all kinds of bad things. This is why we seriously need to invest in cryogenic freezing, to bring Bob back to life in time to stop Armageddon, or find the fountain of youth so Bob never dies in the first place.
Bob, I'm gonna miss ya.


dragonb said...

no mean commentary, that was hilarious. you've got a funny way of looking at things. post more. :)

Maurice Enchel said...

I am entirely certain that of the millions - if not billions - of bloggers around the world, not one has devoted so much thoughtful and insightful commentary on this most intriguing topic.

Keep up the good work Jim, you're destined for greatness!!!

Maurice Enchel said...

See... now you've got me wondering whether you referenced "Hellmouth" from your biblical or cinematic understanding.

SalGal said...

Ohhh... I guess you didn't get the memo. Bob's been dead for 15 years. Ok, technically he died and Edwina took over. That's how the show goes on.

dragonb said...

who's edwina?

jimcalkins said...

She's a character from the movie "All of Me" played by Lily Tomlin. Kind of funny, as I remember, but I was only 3 when the movie came out.